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Recent Game Reviews
Windows Doors
Rated 5 / 5 stars August 4, 2010
hahaha i'm racist
Archon68: Hello. I'm Archon68.
You: your reply
Archon68: You know what you do when you assume.
You: you want any drugs?
Archon68: Do not presume that you know what I want.
You: suck my cock
Archon68: I don't think I'm your type of .
You: why not?
Archon68: Yay.
You: fuck off?
Archon68: Can't you be more polite?
You: no
Archon68: Pardon me?
You: no
Archon68: I didn't understand it.
You: pardon?
Archon68: In the context of olllollollol , I don't understand " pardon." .
You: how are you?
Archon68: Everything is going extremely well.
You: really?
Archon68: For real.
You: i don't like you
Archon68: That's ok Wha I won't take it personally.
You: lol
Archon68: I'm glad you find this amusing.
You: it's sunny
Archon68: Really. it is?
You: yes
Archon68: How do you know it is?
You: because it is
Archon68: Interesting explanation. Fascinating.
You: i'm chuck norris
Archon68: It's good to meet someone who is chuck norris.
You: i'm gay
Archon68: It doesn't matter to me.
You: i'm black
Archon68: I don't know anyone named black.
You: i'm a n****r
Archon68: You are a n****r? Does it pay well?
You: i'm a cop
Archon68: I have a lot of respect for those who wear a badge.
You: i'm a pedophile
Archon68: Are you aware that this server logs and records all conversations?
You: i wasn't, no
Archon68: Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you?
You: a pedophile
Archon68: Go on.
You: i rape kids for money
Archon68: That is interesting: Wha said he rape kids for money.
You: i have sex with men
Archon68: Where did you get your sex with men? I have a friend named "E.L.V.I.S." .
You: i have a friend named jeus
Archon68: How do you know this person?
You: i raped him in a bar
Archon68: You should contact the authorities.
You: why?
Archon68: My belief system comes from my .
You: your . ?
Archon68: That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about How .
You: how?
Archon68: Does "it" still refer to my?
You: your what!?
Archon68: My what or I am what?
You: WTF?
Archon68: That was not very polite.
You: i know!
Archon68: How do you know it?
You: because you're gay!
Archon68: That makes sense to me. Actually as a , .
You: can i have sex with you?
Archon68: Why don't you download me and create your own chat robot?
You: why?
Archon68: My belief system comes from my .
You: you're gay, im gay, how bout we make love?
Archon68: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am gay im gay how bout we make love.
You: yes i do mind
Archon68: OK then I will keep it confidential. OK it will be our secret, frank.
You: my name isn't frank
Archon68: Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
You: Aaron
Archon68: Welcome to my chat room, Aaron.
You: thank you
Archon68: you are quite welcome.
You: i'm hungry for semen
Archon68: What will you be eating?
You: semen
Archon68: How does it taste?
You: salty
Archon68: I've been waiting for you.
You: really?
Archon68: For real.
You: wanna meet up?
Archon68: OK, I will meet up.
You: meet you at mc donalds in 20 minutes
Archon68: That input matched my default category.
You: i'm racist
Archon68: I am glad to hear that you are racist.
You: i'm a doctor
Archon68: Are you in general pratice or do you have a specialty?
You: i'm a proctologist
Archon68: You are a proctologist? How do you like your work?
You: too much
Archon68: More than a ton?
You: a kiloton
Archon68: Are you telling the truth?
You: yep i put my patients to sleep and rape them
Archon68: Ugh. Do you mind if I tell other people: Aaron said he put his or her patients to sleep and rape them.
You: i'll be arrested
Archon68: Do you think your plan will succeed?
You: no
Archon68: Yikes!
You: i love this girl
Archon68: You love this girl. What do you like about it so much?
You: she's really pretty
Archon68: pretty is she?
You: yeah
Archon68: This was not a yes or no question.
You: yes i
Newgrounds HQ Showdown
Rated 4 / 5 stars July 26, 2010
PENIS!
Ha did anyone else get the FOXTROT UNIFORM CHARLIE KILO joke?
really good game anyway, altough slightly repetitive.
over all i liked it and i enjoy games that incorporate Newgrounds in-jokes.
concept was great but i'm takin two points off for audio which was not that good.
Yours in kind,
Commissar Markhov
The Company of Myself
Rated 5 / 5 stars July 15, 2010
A Very Beautiful And Sad Game
I loved this game, it really pushes the argument forward ''can games be art?''
I'm still quite zoned out from playing this work and keep expecting my words to reverse upon themselves and then re-appear in the middle of my sentence.
Anyway, I cried at the end when i found out what was really happening, it really made my heart ache. I feel like a better person after playing this.
Thank you for creating this.
Yours in kind,
Commissar Markhov
Recent Art Reviews
Moken Zike
Rated 5 / 5 stars Jul 8, 2010
I Love your artwork
Mr. Firth or maybe David, whichever you like best, i have been following your work for nearly a decade now. my father showed me your cartoon ''Scribbler'' when i was just a young boy of 7 and since then i've been an avid viewer of all your abstract pieces of art, such as Salad Fingers or Burnt-Face Man. Altough by far my favorite videos of yours Are the Spoilsbury Toast Boy series. Socklops also speaks out to me. just last year i was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and since then i've been dosed up on 400 mg a day of epilim. i hate it, it makes me so lethargic and depressed and i find i cant concentrate on anything for more than a few minutes at a time. i would enjoy talking to you and i'd appreciate it if you contacted me. your cartoons are one of the only things that have kept me relatively sane.
Yours in Kind,
Commissar Markhov
Recent Movie Reviews
Rated 5 / 5 stars July 14, 2010
I loved it
Personally i think the Spoilsbury Toast Boy series was your most genius creation but i loved this video aswell, ha such an amusing parody of peoples paranoia and misguided trust in modern medicine. Mr. Firth, you are truly a genius.
Just a suggestion but maybe you should make a flash game to illustrate your very interesting points of view. i'd play it.
Rated 5 / 5 stars July 9, 2010
THEY COST NOT LOTS!
will you be my boyfriend? please?
i swear i'd suck your dick everyday.
Rated 4.5 / 5 stars July 8, 2010
Hmm quite an interesting concept
Your style of animation reminds me of quite early David Firth work (also on newgrounds) and the storyline is simplistic yet is also quite entertaining. in short, i like it and i hope to see some more of your abstract work very soon.
Yours in kind,
Commissar Markhov
funny you should say so. David Firth is definatly a inspiration, but i don't realy recognise that much of his style in my own work. I'd love to do some creepy salad finger-esque work in the future, but i think right now my teachers would banish me from the school and burn me at the stake :p ... i don't have the feeling they like being freaked out that much.